A Bit On The EmoTioNal SiDe ….

Amazing to note down that at times life takes so many twists and turns, that it is difficult to predict if you are lost or just roaming around the wrong way. It can be a boon or bane depending upon how you reshape the whole thing into a better statue which was left shattered. If you are coping with a relationship breakup, you may wonder if and when you will ever feel better.  The cliché “time heals all wounds” does really apply to the loss of a relationship.  Though the process may feel long and difficult, painful feelings of loss and longing resulting from a relationship breakup will diminish over time.  However, anything that disrupts the letting go process, such as seeing one’s partner or having hope raised for reconciliation, may temporarily rekindle feelings.  Moving on from a relationship breakup sometimes means accepting that there may be no satisfying answer to why the relationship had to end, or recognizing that people often “grow out of” relationships. This may mean coming to terms with limits in being able to control what a romantic partner chooses to do.  For some people, this turns out to be a learning in terms of recognizing people for others it is just another fling they had with someone. People who are emotional by nature tend to be more sensitive to such things rather than those who hardly care whom they meet and just move on. It is not that easy to find your soul partner indeed!

It is true that there is no way around feeling emotional pain after a relationship breakup. Your feelings reflect the importance of your partner in your life, as well as your own ability to allow yourself to be intimate and close with an important other. There are steps you can take, however, to care for yourself and help ease your distress during this time.

Social support is one of the most important factors in coping with a loss.  Reach out to people who care, and who will listen to your feelings and provide encouragement. Spending time with others may be difficult at first, but will help you to realize that there are other people in your life who care about you and are there to support you. On-going contact with your partner may hinder your healing and diminish your sense of self-esteem. Ask for help from others when contact with your partner leaves you feeling increasingly upset. Always make sure you are positive about the person as there is no harm in keeping in touch for good time’s sake but only if the there is no confusion about getting back. Ex partners at times can become awesome friends with a little bit of understanding. But it is necessary to accept that he was not your soul partner. To get away from monotony and distress make a daily schedule.  Structuring your time and having a schedule for the day can be helpful in lessening distress and preoccupation with your ex-partner.

Try to redirect your mental energy to accomplishing projects and tasks, such as academic work, which can boost feelings of control and competence. Making changes in your life and expressing yourself creatively will take you a long way in building up your self-confidence. Thank people around you and believe in being kind rather than just cribbing about stuff all the time. Talking out to one comrade who listens to you is a great idea. Develop new interests, activities and relationships in your life separate from your ex-partner. Focusing on doing things that reflect your unique nature will keep you engaged and curious paving the way for a better mind-set and a feeling of natural happiness that you would yearn for.

Always make sure that even if people around you think in a certain fashion about you, believe in what you are best at it and don’t let them bother you. It generally does happen but in such cases just put on loud music and let go off the tension with a Harlem Shake or Bollywood craziness. These moments might be termed as waste of time but it will relive you and be sure to read stuff that ignites your interest as this will initiate  a thought process.It is not hard to let go off a person, memories will surely stay but as the hard statement says ” it’s time to move on” and it is fun because you underwent an experience and learnt from the same.

Signing off for now.

©Rucha S Khot

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