When No One’s at Fault.

Relationships and Love have always been my favourite area of writing. It is not only when your feelings come out, but also when you address some issues in a better perspective. Be it your life experiences or narrating somebody else’s, it paves a way for coming out with a more concerned and mature view over a topic that would have been otherwise left unanswered in the sands of time.

At times misunderstandings can be grave. It is interesting to note how you would ponder over it and try everything possible or at the most atleast think of some way to make it right. Something that is a human condition. Something that explains why bad things happen to good people. But to me, any story can be extrapolated to something universal. It doesn’t matter if it’s an anecdote about me, my sister, or my close friends who always come up with such hilarious stories and opinions about life. So ask yourself what you would do, say, or think after getting sudden eruptions from the guy who was your best friend just some days ago. If you’re like any normal human being, you’d be pretty darned , surprised and disappointed.

Given that most of the men are definitely not your future husband, getting upset over all this is like getting upset that you didn’t win the Powerball. Being callous, I would rather say, how many times in your life have you been in love? Two? Three? Four? How many of those relationships lasted? Um I truly feel zero. (Widows are excused from this exercise.) 😛
Not many men are cute, successful, smart, kind, funny, compatible and emotionally available for a relationship. It will be your sheer luck and observation skill if you find that kind of a person in life. Also very important to note how many of those amazing men also think you’re cute, smart, kind, funny, compatible and emotionally available for a relationship? (Not as many as you’d like.) 😛 When you look at all of these things together, without any emotion, you’ll see exactly what I see, the fact that any relationship gets off the ground is remarkable. A cute photo, a winning profile, flirty emails, an incredible first date, intense chemistry, mind-blowing sex, none of these mean that a guy wants to be your boyfriend. It’s not that you’re “wrong” to get excited about a promising man; it’s that in half of the instances, it’s premature and you set yourself up for heartbreak.

No man is real until he’s your boyfriend. Your takeaway is to not get too emotionally involved when it comes to a guy with “potential”. Start getting excited when he’s called you his girlfriend, met your family, and started making vacation plans for the summer. His flaking doesn’t mean he’s evil. It means he leaped before he looked .He shot first and asked questions later .No one is at fault. And if no one is at fault, there’s no value in beating yourself up about what you did “wrong”. The answer is nothing. The right guy will come along soon enough – and if you think , you have already found one, make way and let it wait. Take time to discover what can be worked out. There will be times when you are damn serious, but taking the other person’s perspective will make way for your own personal development. But the only way for this to happen is for you to let go of your fears , to let go of your fear of getting hurt, to let go of your frustration as to why you started liking someone so intensely, and to embrace the unknown of the dating process. Put another way: if you quit and stop making friends, you do not meet anybody at all.

If you persevere, that cute man may waltz into your life this new year – and never want to leave.“Never, never, never quit,” said Winston Churchill, and he’s 100% right.
Though for all those who are single, trust me life is still awesome, since you have ample of opportunities to discover!

Rucha Khot


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