As I look back, Oops!, I think I should not because we were taught in school through this poem the ” The Psalm Of Life”, that live in the present. Lets call it a sneak peek then in the year 2015 that was. Penning down my experiences, shortcomings, mistakes, learnings and positive outcomes from all that happened and how the events weaved a memorable year that is indeed hard to forget.

Always thinking about what life is and how to make it better because we all yearn for a better standard of living, for a newer experience, for a stable emotional relaxation, for no mental stress and for a healthy routine where we stay fit and fine. But nothing is possible without struggles, have you all ever wondered, that any single moron or human existing on this planet has had his or her share of struggles and the hard times that lay behind, the hard work that paid off for the struggle to be counted as a stepway or the path lead to happiness.

Very philosophical indeed, but give it a thought, its the reality, you need the good part and you have to squash in through the dirty part as well. You need to define boundaries and give a shot, what is life without risks after all, isn’t it. We all want an amazing job, but we do not want to work after sundown to get the big money. We all want to go to exotic holiday destinations but we do not want to sacrifice our precious leaves too. We all want the huge pay cheque and appraisal at the end of the year but we do not wish to spend our nights in the blasé of the office cubicle that offers nothing but monotony. We all want to buy big yachts and throw lavish cocktail parties but we do not wish to take the risk of the share market that turns fortunes. Everybody wants to have satiable sex and wants a lovey dovey relationship but not everyone is willing to go through the tough conversations, the awkward silences, the hurt feelings and the emotional psychodrama to get there.People want a partner, a spouse. But you don’t end up attracting someone fabulous without appreciating the emotional turbulence that comes with weathering rejections, building the sexual tension that never gets released, and staring blankly at a phone that never rings. It’s part of the game of love. You can’t win if you don’t play.

Give life a chance, because only struggle leads to happiness, only suffering leads to satisfaction, only pain will lead to enjoyment. Even at theme parks the thrill comes out of risk, when you risk going out on a giant wheel and at the top of the floor, even for sky diving thrill comes with risking the height from where you jump. The positive is the side effect of handling the negative. You can only avoid negative experiences for so long before they come roaring back to life.

This is my biggest learning this year. Success requires struggle and pain, which it demands from you. As a person I have changed, yes I have, from the stupid little ideas I carried inside my head about life that painted a rosy picture through the tinted glass, I see the reality, I see how people act and then make it happen, everything cannot be gotten in life. Be thankful and let life surprise you at times. Little things will bloom into awesome miracles.

In a nutshell, I graduated into a post graduate degree holder, at the same time my interviews gave me a pretty good job to pay off my bills and take care of myself. It is not the best thing that happened to me, but I have always looked forward to working this way. Smartly and independently. New city, new dreams, fresh avenues to achieve, clear goals, a good boss who let me take project decisions, my travel memories(though more would have been fun, but I loved the places I saw). Helpful colleagues Shwetan, Neha, Siddharth, Mahidhar, Ravindra to name a few taught me so many things at work. I felt lucky because it is difficult to find friends at work, who will accept you like who you are and will go any way to guide you.

Pondicherry, Vadodara, Bangalore, Wayanad, Gokarna, Leh Ladakh, Chikmangalur, Belur, Halebidu, Bandipur, Goa Mekedatu, Nandi Hills. Weekend getaways have been the highlight. It brought greater insights. It paved the way for experiential learning. Next year Europe is on my list, with top priority with all the major cities already planned.

I found my love. He treats me equally. No discrimination. We are like kids. Shamelessly like kids. My ultimate goal for 2015 was to learn and explore and I did it. I mastered a bit of Spanish. Able to speak one more language at least at the behest of understanding basic requirements was incomparable. The lowlights were not meeting my family and being selfish at times which I should not have been. Sometimes at my Bangalore abode I felt lonely too and didn’t know what to do when some harsh decisions had to be taken but these negative experiences taught me to be calm. My patience has increased a bit and at times I acted stupid too and hurt some of my close people. But apology was all I could do and tried my bestest best to make for those few mistakes that did bring some dull moments this year. Nonetheless these moments showed me the bad ass side of me and how necessary it was to curb it in order to be mature and responsible.

As the year ends always remember people who enjoy the struggles of a gym are the ones who get in good shape. People who enjoy long work weeks and the politics of the corporate ladder are the ones who move up it. People who enjoy the stresses and uncertainty of the starving artist lifestyle are ultimately the ones who live it and make it. People who make time for their loved ones are the ones who will feel how fulfilling life had been. It’s an irony how both can’t be managed at times that is corporate and family but once you achieve certain things there is no harm in stopping by and saying to yourself. BREATH!!!

Have a fulfilling and experiential 2016!

Signing off for this year.

Rucha S Khot